How do you Spell Hallelujah

One of the most famous musical masterpieces ever written is Handel’s Messiah, with the most famous portion of it being the Hallelujah chorus.  Sang in triumph and victory, they repeat the word Hallelujah over and over. It makes sense that this word would be sung in triumph, given that the definition of Hallelujah is “God be Praised.”

For Christmas this year, we watched the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” as a family.  This classic film follows the story of George Bailey, a man who thought he had hit rock bottom because of all the bad things that had happened to him over the years, he often comments in despair over the cold and broken home he lives in.  He seemingly faced disappointment after disappointment. While the pain and stress of his situation is raining down on him, George’s son asks “Dad, how do you spell Hallelujah?”

There have been times in my life where I’ve looked at my cold and broken life, and have been frustrated by my perceived misfortunes.  A few years ago, when Samuel was having a significant amount of  seizures, I was at my wit’s end. My father came over to help me lay hands on my son and give him a blessing. In the blessing, I heard the voice of the Lord say that Samuel’s seizures were to remain, that he would not be healed, but that there is a divine purpose behind his condition.  When the blessing ended, I was cold and I was broken. I wept bitter tears. My parents, trying to comfort me, said that Samuel was a perfect and Heavenly child, and it was truly a blessing.  When they told me that, I cursed the heavens. I cursed God and said I didn’t want a Heavenly child! I wanted my son to not have seizures!

Like George Bailey, the pain and stress of my cold and broken life was raining down on me, and I didn’t hear my child ask me how you spell Hallelujah.

At the end of the movie, George is awakened to the reality of his life. He sees the blessings he has been given, and all the good that has come as he worked to serve others. At the end of the film, he is still stuck in the same town, with the same low-paying job, and the same cold and broken house, but he looks up to the Heavens in gratitude. He learned how to spell Hallelujah.

A year ago, my wife and I went to visit our Bishop, the leader of our church congregation.  Samuel’s seizures again had become worse than ever. The bishop determined he would like to give us a blessing, similar to the blessing my father and I gave Samuel years earlier. In the blessing, the Lord once again told me that Samuel’s seizures were to remain, that he would not be healed, but that there was a divine purpose behind his condition. When the blessing ended, I was cold and I was broken.  I wept, and while the pain in my heart was still great, my tears were not bitter.  I was grateful for my perfect, Heavenly child. My circumstances had not changed from the previous blessing, I was just awakened to the reality of my life.  I saw the blessings the Lord had given me through Samuel’s infirmity.  Through his epilepsy, Samuel taught me how to spell Hallelujah.

This year, on Christmas Day today, Samuel’s seizures are worse than they’ve ever been. It’s a painful reality to know that his seizures are to remain.  Nevertheless I know there is a divine plan behind his condition.  Instead of Handel’s Messiah, today I’ll sing a different Hallelujah. Leonard Cohen wrote this one and in it, he says, Love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken, Hallelujah.  

And its one I’ll repeat over and over. Hallelujah.

Merry Christmas.