Just Another Peaceful Sunday Morning



 Our church had a special broadcast for us to watch this Sunday, designed to help our home become a place of spirituality and peace.  Standing in the kitchen at 11 0’clock, I was blown away at how tranquil the house was thanks to that broadcast.

First we had my wife, beautiful as ever, her hair a knotted mess as she rocked the latest “still in pajamas looking more exhausted than a teenager on Monday morning” look.  The baby made sure she got at least a couple hours of beauty sleep the night before, and now, although she had been awake for some time, she is just sitting down to eat, being very picky about her breakfast, as it always has to go through a rigorous curing process.  

·         First, it has to appear to be the kids’ breakfast.  

·         Let sit for at least two hours, ensuring it has been fully abandoned by said kids

·         Announce that it is time for mom to eat it

·         Salt thoroughly with the tears of the children now realizing their old, abandoned food was going to be eaten by mom.

Bon Appetite

Then, we had my special needs son, the boy who loves to repeat quotes from movies.  Today’s quote was especially engaging.  It was a singular, loud SHUSH! Noise as found in the film, Finding Dori.  Having him shush as loudly as possible over and over again was the soft tones needed to accentuate this peaceful Sunday morning.

Moving down to my second son, we see a heap on the floor, thrashing about in agony…either because one of his limbs just got cut off, or more likely, because he just witnessed me throwing away a tablespoon of expired food.  Watching my son writhe on the floor that Sunday morning made me eager to finally meet Jesus.

After that, we have our third child, my daughter.  She’s perfect.

Finally we have the toddler, who listened intently to the church broadcast, which was of course all about making sure you do not nap at all costs.  He was cheerfully helping me reorganize all the bottom drawers in the kitchen, thoroughly emptying one, then moving on to the next.

It was in this serene atmosphere I decided to make lunch for my wonderful family.  My wife informed me she was still full from the kids’ breakfast she was currently eating, and excused herself to go get dressed.  Pulling out the food to the sound of that pleasant SHUSH every few seconds, I began dishing up each plate, when the heap on the floor that was apparently my son, discovered, thanks to his new vantage point, several toys on the floor under the stove.  This discovery proved most distressing to him.  I thought he had completely forgotten about all of these toys, given that he never spoke of them once in the months since they went missing, but I was naïve.  Apparently, these were the single most important toys on all the Earth, and if they couldn’t be reclaimed immediately, his life might just end on the spot.

I got on the ground with a stick to fish out the coveted toys, when my puppy, looking down on me in a way he didn’t expect, decided that my face was his new chew toy.  After removing the puppy and reclaiming the toys, I went back to making lunch, which, I must admit was simply putting leftovers on a plate and into the microwave…a seemingly simple task, when our baby, having completed his task of removing everything from the bottom drawers, became so enthusiastic about helping me with my next task, that he came running straight into my legs while I was holding the food.  The puppy, drawing upon the enthusiasm of the baby, and being spurred on further by the lovely SHUSHing noise of my son, also leapt upon my legs, causing me to trip over the drawers the baby so carefully opened for me.

Our peaceful Sunday Broadcast reaches its pinnacle as the speaker at the pulpit on the TV, who is telling us all about love, patience, and forgiveness, is being drowned out by dad, me, roaring in extreme angst.

It is a beautiful spring Sunday.  A special church broadcast is on to bring spirituality and peace into our home.  Four kids are crying in harmony with one another, dad is swearing and holding his shin, and the dogs are enjoying a delicious lunch, of spaghetti and marinara sauce, all over the floor.  Life is good

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Samuel's Ministry on Earth

Having Samuel for One More Day

In the service of your fellow beings